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Columnist Bill Herr taught high school mathematics and science for 32 years before serving as a volunteer and then as a staff chaplain at two nursing homes.  

By Bill Herr

My aunt lived in a nursing home in a nearby city.  I have great memories of my aunt and uncle.  At family gatherings in their home, the younger ones played games and the older ones played cards.  My aunt had been active in social organizations. My uncle had a good job and always had a cigar in his mouth when they played cards. He had passed years before when I went to visit my aunt a nursing home.  

When I visit someone I always bring up past events in that person’s life in the conversation.  When I mentioned my uncle’s name, my aunt, who now had dementia, asked me where he was. I said, “He is in heaven, you remember he died a few years back.”  That was the wrong thing for me to say. My aunt cried and said, “Why didn’t someone tell me?”  She was angry. 

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