TEH. BEST. GAMES. EVAR.
By Andr'e Swartley

Issue #19
Hardball II
Developer: Distinctive Software
Publisher: Accolade, Inc
Platform: DOS PC
Rating: (N/A)

The year was 1989: Ghostbusters II hit theaters to mixed reviews; Milli Vanilli were still, to most people's knowledge, singing their own songs; and the Oakland Athletics, led by "Bash Brothers" Jose Canseco and Mark Mcgwire, were on their way to a second consecutive California-only World Series. And this time Kirk Gibson wouldn't ruin everything with a walk-off homer in the bottom of the ninth.

Yes, 1989 sure felt like a different era, mostly as evidenced by the fact that I gave a rat's patoot about professional baseball (I still have over 100 different mint-condition Jose Canseco baseball cards if anyone would like to offer me a heaping sack of gold for them). My disastrous first and only season of Little League was still a year away, so I naturally assumed that I would grow up to be a baseball player. And where could I hone my skills all winter to prepare for Spring Training? On my dad's computer, of course, playing Hardball II.

Most electronic baseball games in the 80s didn't bother with full Major League Baseball licensing-RBI Baseball on the NES, for example, only had 10 teams and a handful of recognizable players-and Hardball II didn't even try. Two teams I remember off the top of my head were the Accolade Aces and Lotsa Losers.

Whereas popular console titles like RBI and Bases Loaded focused on fast, simple, arcade-style play, the Hardball franchise aimed for a more realistic simulation experience. Instead of the "Fast" or "Slow" pitching options common to many games at the time, Hardball II offered five different pitches: Change-up, Curveball, Fastball, Screwball, and Sinker. Each pitch could also be thrown in nine different sectors of the strike zone as represented by a tic-tac-toe grid.

The options didn't end with pitching either. Hitters could choose between Full Swing, Sacrifice, Normal, Grounder, and Bunt. These choices proved less meaningful, however, as there was no real strategic need to select anything besides Full Swing, the only option that allowed you to hit homeruns.

When batting, you could see what pitch your opponent was going to throw and approximately where it would cross the plate. But Hardball II included a degree of human error, meaning that a fastball thrown low and inside might nick the strike zone or it might not. Successful hitting demanded concentration and practice, making ultra-rare plays like triples and grand slams that much more satisfying.

So, what's the point of digging up a 21-year-old DOS fossil (DOSsil?) like Hardball II when MLB The Show 2010 is on store shelves right now? First, it's free. Now, before you think I'm advocating software piracy, Hardball II is old enough to be considered "Abandonware," meaning that its copyright has expired and was never renewed. A federal judge even ruled that Abandonware is a legal means of archiving. You can play games and be part of history at the same time!

Besides that, it's possible to "play" modern baseball games for hours and hours without actually taking to the field. Many new baseball games have coaching modes in which you simulate entire baseball seasons WITHOUT PLAYING ANY BASEBALL. It's like an even more boring version of Fantasy Baseball.

Most retro gamers will tell you that RBI Baseball is the definitive baseball videogame from the 80s, much like Tecmo Bowl is for football. And they're right. But RBI was a baseball game in the same way that Outrun was a driving game-pure arcade experiences, in other words. Hardball II dabbled in more realistic simulation without sinking into the mire of micromanagement. Boot up your DOS Box and take a swing.

Final Grade: B-