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What bad coffee and great rolls do to the mind

By Fred Steiner

It's all Greg Ring's fault.

His wife, Mary, prepared the most divine breakfast rolls of 2010 for our family. Greg dropped off this artistic work on his way to church. Ah, now for a good cup of coffee. The day - heck, the week - will be complete with this combination: hot rolls and coffee. The problem is, I can't make a decent cup of coffee. Can't put my finger on the reason. But my coffee rests in the C- grade range. I know this because no one will drink it. Not even my daughters.

As I moaned this fact, suddenly, like the birds swooping down to my bird feeder, visions of Bluffton's professional coffee drinkers came into view. I wondered, what secret formula do these drinkers possess that I fail to grasp?

The list of persons with whom I've consumed the roasted bean with reads like the Bluffton phone book. And their coffee is always better than mine. This is so, even if they didn't make it. Simple sitting at a table with them, made the coffee taste better.

First to mind came, Deb Beer, who only drinks Columbian. Drank her coffee for 10 years while employed at 101 N. Main St. She turns the pot off soon after the first cup is poured. Great coffee.

Next, Lawrence Matthews, Bluffton hands-down coffee drinking champ, certainly has a winning formula. What is it Lawrence, six, seven cups a day?

The list continued: Pete Suter, the father of Bluffton coffee, then, Kim, the mother of Bluffton coffee. Suddenly my mind cranked out a long list of Suters and Sutters, most having nothing do to with coffee drinking. Bob, Bill, Steve, Penny, Lyle, Evelyn. Bob and Bill caused me to ponder brothers who live in Bluffton. I pictured Jeff and Joe Laing, Jim and Larry Kinn, Roger and Scott Edwards, Dave and Chris Moser, Shawn and Jay Stratton, Dave, Bob and Ed Fett, Steve and Dave Stratton, Wally and Darrell Buroker.

Next came a list of women who I think are sisters, but aren't...Mandy Kinn and Deb Wentz, then actual sisters, Janette Reineke and Bev Amstutz, Mary Fett and Susie Gilliland, the Towne twins, Rhonda Wenger and Robin Miller...then other Robins, Bowlus and Wilch, sisters who live on the same street, Sally and Marsha and then more twins, Jenny and Beth Sylak, Abbie and Beka Trollinger, Amber and Aaron Shelly, Kristen and Ashley Luginbuhl.

On my third cup of bad coffee and great rolls I started wondering if there are any Bluffton Democrats who became Republicans and Republicans who became Democrats. This list, as interesting as it sounds, will be published 25 years after my death.

Then a very obscure list, which I could not create, included questions. Do any Bixels live on Bixel Road? At a stretch, Betty Heiks' house (now Don and Elaine Brubaker's) is on Bixel. She was Bixel. Darvin Luginbuhl lives on Lugibill Road or yet another spelling. I'd need to consult Everett Collier or Denny Edinger at the PO. Heck, they could tell me if a Shifferly lives on Shifferly Road and if a Geiger lives on Geiger Street or ever did. But that thought is for another day.

The coffee cup emptied itself and it was time for another roll.

What's your coffee-making formula? Share it at [email protected]

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