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Meet Shirley Wagner - Bluffton's newest funeral director

“I’m motivated by helping other people.”

She works with physicians, lawyers, clergy, health department officials, fire fighters, coroners, florists, hairdressers and sometimes even criminal investigators.

You could easily say she meets people all across the spectrum.

She is Shirley Wagner, licensed funeral director and embalmer.

She’s new to Bluffton, and as staff member of Chiles-Laman Funeral and Cremation Services, she’s the newest business professional in town.

“The first thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a singer and writer,” she said. “After obtaining an associate’s degree in nursing I met a mortician and shadowed him for a time.”

That’s when she realized that her calling was as a caregiver. “I’m motivated by helping other people,” she said, looking back on her career choice.

Wagner came to Bluffton this summer. She’s a Bryan, Ohio, native. She and her husband, Adam, have three children. They are Pierson, 7, Annette, 3, and Eve, 2.

“I really like Bluffton. It seems like a good fit to me,” she said, adding that her job description includes everything from meeting with families, writing obituaries, embalming, getting death certificates signed, calling florists, and being on call at the funeral home.

Being a good listener is one of the qualities needed as a funeral director, says Wagner.

“Listening involves hearing from family members about the importance of the loved one who passed away,” she said. “That’s what everybody wants. They want to talk about the extent of their loss and how important that person was to them.”

Adding that her own mother died at age 55, Wagner says that she understands the grief process.

She points to the grief training she had at the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science, where she graduated in 2015.

“It’s perfectly okay to grieve, be angry, and to cry following a loved one’s death,” she said. “It’s a normal natural process. Each grieving process is different. It depends on the situation of the deceased.”

In addition to being a licensed funeral director, Wagner has had training as a funeral celebrant. That means that she can conduct a funeral if asked. She has already conducted three while serving in her one-year apprenticeship in Toledo.

And, as a woman in a traditionally man’s profession, she said that more and more women are becoming funeral directors.

“In my graduating class there were two men and 14 women. In the next 20 years you’ll see more and more women as funeral directors and that’s a good thing,” she said.

There are times when a family meets Wagner for counseling and is surprised that the funeral director is woman.

But she adds, once the family meets me and talks, “It’s not uncommon for me to gets hugs, after I sit down with them and show the level of care I can offer,” she said.

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