By Liz Gordon-Hancock
I have been known to quote Mama Bear from the Berenstain Bears books.
Not only is she always calm, collected and right (sorry daddies), but she speaks some great pearls of wisdom. She also knows when NOT to speak or intervene, allowing her cubs (or Papa) to learn for themselves.
I quote Mama Bear when I’m instructing my children about tattletales: “Tattling is telling just to be mean” according to Mama Bear, and she goes on to explain that telling on someone because you’re worried about them is different from tattling.
With three kids in the house, tattletales are an everyday thing, especially during family gatherings or outings where spirits are high. My wise sister-in-law asked her daughter once “Are you telling me this to get your sister in trouble or because you’re concerned she’s going to get hurt?” I thought that was a brilliant question. Mama Bear would approve.
We as parents want to encourage our children to come talk to us, especially if there’s a problem. Perhaps if we set the stage for encouraging open and honest conversation with our six-year-olds, then when they’re sixteen, they’ll feel comfortable opening up about what they’re dealing with or what’s really bothering them.
I again quote Mama Bear when discussing how too much of a good thing can be bad: When asked what’s wrong with TV, Mama Bear exclaimed “Goodness… I don’t have anything against TV. I like it. What I’m against is the TV habit – sitting in front of it day after day…” (from The Berenstain Bears and Too Much TV).
Or Mama’s explanation of how we have to be careful of strangers because of a few “bad apples” (from The Berenstain Bears learn about strangers).
I find the Berenstain Bears books quite quotable.
The first Berenstain Bears book was published in 1962, and there have been more than two hundred books throughout the years, according to their official website.
The creators and author/illustrators of the Berenstain Bears, Stan and Jan Berenstain, were parents themselves and drew from their own experiences.
Here’s a brief run-down of parental topics the original Berenstain Bears books cover:
- Starting school
- Nightmares
- Visiting the doctor or dentist for the first time
- Stranger danger
- Stage fright
- Manners
- Babysitters
- Junk food
- Bad habits, such as nailbiting
- Incrowds
- Peer pressure
- Bullying
- Fear of the dark
- Summer camp
- Money management
- Telling the truth
- Vacations
- Making the team
Of course, Berenstain’s son, Mike, has taken over the writing and illustrating, so there are new books emerging (not to mention the tv series), but the classic books have my commendation.
There are a few references to hopscotch and playing jacks, which might be hard for our twenty-first-century children to understand. But, then again, my eight-year-old daughter asked for a jump rope for her birthday, and I’m convinced the idea came from reading about Sister Bear’s prowess in the double-dutch jump rope contest (from Berenstain Bears and the In-crowd). (Does physical education still involve teaching jump rope and double-dutch?)
Life might seem far too simple in that tree house down a sunny dirt road deep in bear country, but I find lots of parenting parallels for today.
Who doesn’t want life to be more simple?
Some lessons are timeless, like when to say “please” and “thank you”.
I love the general feel of life in the bear family’s tree house: they eat meals together as a family, often having “lively debates round the table” (from The Berenstain Bears and Too Much TV), teachable moments abound, and they take time to go on nature hikes or plant tulips or star-gaze together as a family.
Some of the Berenstain Bears books were quite progressive for their time. Just take the book He Bear, She Bear, first published in 1974. The book flawlessly navigates what little he and she bears can do when they grow up. They state he bears CAN be fathers and she bears CAN be mothers, but go on to explore a myriad of career options in sing-song rhyme. I love the line “We can do all these things, you see, whether we are he or she,” showing he bears knitting socks and she bears directing traffic.
Although most of the Berenstain Bears books were written back in the previous century, they still offer relevant morals and good behaviors for kids and parents alike.
I want to be more like Mama Bear: sagely, calm, peacemaking. But I’m not going to wear blue polka dots every day.
About the columnist
Liz Gordon-Hancock, daughter of Bob and Deb Beer, graduated from BHS in 2000. She attended Ohio Northern University, and received her bachelor's in English Literature in 2004.
As part of her studies, she spent her junior year in Wales, United Kingdom, at the University of Wales, Lampeter, where she met her future husband, Robert Gordon-Hancock.
After graduation, she married and moved to London, England. She could hear Big Ben chime the top of the hour from their studio apartment. She commuted on a red, double-decker bus, crossing the River Thames, every weekday for work.
But London was not ideal for raising children, so the Gordon-Hancocks bought a house in Witham, Essex, where they had two children (under free, national healthcare).
After 10 years in the UK, the Gordon-Hancocks moved back to Bluffton to raise their kids in small-town America. They now have three children, Alenah (age 8), Isla (age 6) and Elliot (terribly 2).
