Fred's diary for April 1 -So, I'm minding my own business, heading toward the chamber office on a Friday morning. Thought I'd stop at the corner of Main and Cherry and pick up a cup of Icon coffee to go.

The usuals were there. Except Eric Rummel was AWOL. Alison King and I exchange a quick dose of Bluffton slander and libel. Could be argued that it was straight gossip; it was all the truth.

Conversations ranged from how many time her brother, Ben, calls or texts her in a week, to the best coupons currently offered and why people go for them.

Just then Josh Smith, sitting next to us, piped in something like, "Yeah, I was in a restaurant yesterday. I guy walked up to me and said something like I just saved 50 cents on a (I can't remember what it was.)"

There you have it. Coupons are the rage. Maybe I ought to create a coupon page on The Icon. I'll see what magic Ryan Lowry can work up for me.

It was then when I reached for my wallet, which was also missing in action. So, Alison offered to buy me a cup. I said, "Why not." Turns out I think I took her last George W. Felt pretty bad about it, but was already filling my cup. Phil wasn't there. The help said, "We'd have given to you anyway." Then I really felt stupid. Especially if Phil found out. He won't, however, because I won't tell him.

Went outside, opened the door to the '97 Dodge van with 155,930 on it. Saw my wallet. Considered for a moment to repay Alison. Changed my mind and headed to the town hall.

All the time, wondering just how stupid the Icon's April Fool's story on opening the Buckeye for swimming might be. Lot of people read it. It wasn't my idea. Mary came up with it late last night. I was moaning to her that I couldn't think of anything to write. So, just to shut me up she said, "Why don't you open the Buckeye to swimming during the sesquicentennial, dear?"

Don Schweingruber had earlier suggested that I announce that the curbs on Main Street are set four inches too far "in" and the entire project must be redone, extending four more inches into the street.

I can see it now. All those anonymous readers on the Icon squealing about Big Government. You know the rest.

You realize that none of the above is true, because I wasn't wearing a sweatshirt at all.