By Fred Steiner

All I wanted was a one-day-old roll from The Dough Hook.

But, it became much more complicated than that last Saturday. Complicated for several reasons. For starters, I forgot to take my pills, so I stopped into Common Grounds for a quick jolt. Was planning on informing Phil Zimmerly that his chamber renewal was up.

Being the end of the month he and one other guy started moaning about bills due on the 31st. So, I kept my mouth shut.

To change the subject, I suggested he open a Sinclair service station. He thought about it for a minute, but decided against it. Go ahead, ask him about it.

Did I mention that earlier in the week I misplaced my Visa card? It became my week-long obsession. Checked all coat pockets twice, went through the trash in the garage. No luck. Talked it over with Donna Cook at CNB. She advised me to call Visa and cancel it. Which I did.

However, I transposed her numbers by error and heard some really heavy breathing on the other end. Hung up, dialed again...same heavy breathing. Became really sorry I misplaced my card.

Strolled down to The Dough Hook. Walked in. There stood Beth Lamb, who I really didn't want to see because I promised to do a story on Andy when he returned to Wittenberg from a term in Spain. I never interviewed him and had to apologize. She was gracious about it.

Then, suddenly I saw the day-olds in the case.

Next came a small town meat market faux pas. Still can't believe it happened. I butted in line, ahead of Beth, Lisa Robeson and one other customer, whose name escapes me. Saw my error, backed off but before I could set things straight announced I wanted the last slice of ham in the case.

Lisa, said she was there first, which is true. She wanted it, too. It turned into one of those, "No, you take it." "No you take it," deals, always awkward. Gave in, shut up and waited my turn, like I should have in the first place.

Paid for the day old and walked back happily to the car. It's a Hyundai, which is really a "undai" because the "Hy" fell off earlier this winter.

Got to the car. Realized I brought the family dog on the trip. Knew it would eat the goods, so I laid the bag on the roof. Went looking for Mary. Found her in Et Cetera.

We were lazy. Decided to drive to Greg's. She asked about the bag on the roof. I said, "None of your business."

In Greg's discovered we are about $175 away from meeting our deductible, which was good news. Returned to the "undai" where the day-old was still on the roof. Mary said nothing. But I could tell she was curious.

Went home. She opened the bag and said something like, "Oh, its bread dough and brown sugar," which was true. But, she didn't realize it was very affordable because it was one day old. I nuked it and before you could say "pass the milk," I was licking my fingers.

Went upstairs, checked one more pants pockets. Found the Visa card.

It figures.