By Joanne Niswander
As some of you know, my husband Dean passed away just after the first of the year. It wasn't unexpected. He had been in Mennonite Memorial Home for the past 15 months.

In addition to physical problems that kept him in a wheelchair, he had Alzheimer's disease. And that is what I want to talk about.

The word "Alzheimer's" scares the dickens out of most of us. We sometimes joke about it when we have a "senior moment" but, down deep, we're well aware that Alzheimer's disease might come to us no matter how hard we try to will it away.

So why are so many of us reluctant to talk openly about it? Why do many of us try to ignore that "elephant in the room?"

One reason may be that we Americans have been indoctrinated to think there is a cure for every ill. Headache? There's a pill for that. Flu? There's a shot to prevent it. Cancer? Join the Relay for Life and keep those cures coming.

For Alzheimer's, there are medications that may help to slow the progression but there's no cure, no magic potion to make the mind whole again.

So, in 2004 when Dean and I were just beginning our trek through the stages of Alzheimer's disease, we were fortunate to find help in acknowledging "the elephant." We heard about a new program being started by the Lima office of the Alzheimer's Association that was focused primarily on the person with the disease. (Most other programs being offered at that time were geared to caregivers.)

Those "early stage" programs engaged us in asking questions and talking out problems. Through the monthly meetings, we met other people in the same boat - their boat sometimes leakier than ours.

We learned how important it was to face reality and not hide behind a facade. We learned to cope with that elephant in the room and, instead of ignoring him, we incorporated him into our daily living. Yes, he took up a lot of room but we managed to enjoy life even with him around.

So, maybe your problem isn't Alzheimer's. Maybe it's cancer. Maybe it's Parkinson's. Maybe you don't even have any problems.

But, when one comes up don't ignore it. Talk about it. Bring that elephant out in the open so it doesn't have a chance to get a strangle-hold on your conversation - and your life.

And if you need a listening ear, I'm available.